Thursday, 23 February 2017


I got really upset today seeing my friends on facebook berating someone, and also the general casual misogyny is something that just fills up slowly until it eventually overflows.

And then Roo messaged me, out of the blue, because I had been in a dream of his. Apparently his flight was rerouted and I was there in the waiting lounge. He can't remember how the dream ended.

I can't help but feel this is somewhat of a godsend. One of the earliest really truly good people in my life, just popping in to say hello, and remind me that people are good.

I thank whatever providence brought this about (and brought him into my life in the very first instance).

On the forefront of my mind today:

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy.

O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; it is in dying that we are born again to eternal life.

... so please be kind if i'm a mess

Wednesday, 22 February 2017

Biopsy vs. Autopsy

I misspoke and said that I needed an autopsy but actually I was scheduled to have a biopsy because I've had this weird lump on my arm. But then when I got there the doctor decided that it's small enough that we should just get it removed altogether.

So I now have four stitches on my forearm and have been warned off excess movement or flexing. I'm using this week to do some other stuff, like write up some basic musical theory re: swing and also some basic exercises.

Next week I go and get my results, and hopefully take the stitches out. In the mean time I'm enjoying being a bit more sedentary. 

Saturday, 18 February 2017

At about one month or so in

When I wake up in the morning sometimes I'm just like... why are my feet so sore? Oh. Because I practiced 3 hours yesterday.

I started popping classes lately and am carrying on with waacking. It's given me ridiculously well defined back/shoulder/arm muscles. Even my teacher is a little incredulous that I don't go to the gym any more. If only my abs would do the same (#nodice).

Everything is a constant struggle. Actually there are days when I feel measurable progress. But the rest of the time is pretty much a constant struggle.

I have trouble explaining to people what I'm doing sometimes.

On other fronts I feel I can always do more and do better (like update my vintage business) but then so much of the time all I can manage is vegetate. I'm not sure if I'm slacking or if I'm just exhausted.

Still, I think overall it's a forward progression, so I won't ask for more than that.