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Wednesday, 13 January 2010

TTC, why do you hate me?

my bladder is conspiring against me with the TTC. If a street-car breaks down, that's when I really need to pee.

Five King to Broadview street-cars passed me by. I started to feel like I kind of need to pee. Also noticed a lot of cabs going past on Queen - obviously cabbies knew there was a breakdown. Even more ominous than lots of empty cabbies cruising for fares = abundance of occupied cabbies racing past. After half an hour's waiting I got on a Greenwood street-car. I said, 'where are all the other Queen cars that go further?' and the driver refused to take me me seriously. He insisted that A. I haven't been waiting 25 mins, and B. there is no breakdown.

To me this implied that he thinks A. I can't tell time by my watch or B. I can't see street-cars. This also told me that cabbies know things about TTC's status that TTC conductors obviously DON'T.

At the next stop I was vindicated by other freezing cold and unhappy customers, inquiring after Queen street-cars that go further than Greenwood. One of them said to us there's been a breakdown but that was more than half an hour ago. Buses were promised and have yet to materialize. Apparently many people knew about this breakdown, see? Just not the TTC people.

We got dropped off at Connaught. We agreed that the TTC is probably run by apes. We then agreed that this is an insult to ape intelligence.

A car arrived. The conductor was replaced at Connaught by another conductor. They spent a few moments exchanging this info: there's been a breakdown; this is not the street-car you were expecting; look for a street-car with the number xxx and I will give you your transfers.

This then told me that: A. CABBIES KNOW WHAT THE DEAL IS BEFORE TTC EMPLOYEES DO. B. TTC EMPLOYEES HAVE NO BETTERS MEANS OF COMMUNICATION THAN DRIVING SOMEWHERE AND SPREADING THE NEWS IN PERSON.

It seems that the TTC exists in an alternate universe where technology has yet to move to a stage of information/communication proliferation.

Apparently TTC employees don't have telephones - mobile or otherwise. Perhaps they prefer pigeon post? Apparently it's ok to just take your time and let the news travel on a delayed schedule rather than to call someone at Connaught and say 'Look, there's been like, a major breakdown. Maybe you should get into a street-car, fire up the old girl, and be the hero of the day from Connaught to Long Branch.'

Or, dare I suggest something even more obvious? Ring up one of the drivers on the King to Broadview street-car on his mobile phone, and suggest: 'How's about going East on Queen on the spur of a moment eh? Live dangerously, and save our customers from freezing to death trying to get home. How's that for shaking up the old routine?'

But no, that would have been far too obvious.

And all this time waiting and stamping my feet and having my intelligence insulted by conductors - I really had to pee. Most uncomfortable.

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