yo ho ho, a pirate's life for me

Several times I've been asked what I intend to do when this degree is finished. Usually folks here are kinda surprised to hear that I am doing an MA but not a DPhil. I want to ask them if they've never heard of the pleasure of learning, and doing something for the hell of it. Alright, that's not fair. If you didn't take pleasure in learning, you wouldn't be here - because there's a HELL of a lot of that going on.

Other times they ask me what I intend to do, if not a DPhil. The other day I met someone, and told this person that I intend to do something fashion related. Learn to make some clothes - because I've wanted to do that for a long time. This person then asked me where I intend to do that. I said Toronto, because I miss home. Then this person asked why Toronto? Isn't there only about, like, three places in the world to study fashion?

I didn't really know what he meant. But I took it to mean that if you want to study fashion, then it's New York, Paris or Milan. I could laugh my ass off at that. Again, I reiterate: I'm not sure if this is what he meant. But in my mind it seems that he is just so used to be the best at everything that he can't imagine doing something somewhere that isn't the best place for it.

This, ladies and gentleman, is not what I have in mind.

Stupidly competitive as I am with myself and others in my head I don't think that being the best at something matters a whole lot to me anymore. I still have the tendency to compare myself to others - but coming to Oxford has made me realize that being the best simply isn't worth it, in my opinion. At least not for someone like me. There's alot of clever people out there in the world - and you'll have to get up pretty early every day (proverbially) to keep up with them. I think the strain of that would do me in. I hope those people who are the best at things find their lives not too stressful, and quite satisfying.

For me, I just don't think that the satisfaction and the reward would be recompense enough for the hard work, that is all. I ask again - where was Do-nothing in Piers Plowman? What's with all this striving business? I think I can get on and make a pretty satisfying life for myself without being under the strain of having to do Do-well, Do-better, or Do-best.

Instead, I'll do whatever the hell I feel like. At least some of the time. Without worrying about if I've 'achieved my full potential' or some such crap. I say, old friend, what really matters is that I am happy.

So if you are reading this, don't bother asking me what I'll do after I graduate. You know my reply: Yo ho ho, a pirate's life for me.