Laughter is the best medicine

Lots of people around these parts are dropping like flies. Flu, mumps, you name it. They say laughter's the best medicine, so here's some preventative (hopefully) meds for everyone.

"How the First Helandman of God was Maid of ane Hors Turd in Argyle"

God and Sanct Peter was gangand be the way
Heiche up in Argyle quhair thair gait lay
Sanct Peter said to God in a sport word
Can ye no mak a helandman of this hors turd
God turnd owre the hors turd wi his pykit staff
An up start the helandman as black as ony draff
Qwod God to the helandman quhair wilt thow now
I will doun to the lawland lord and thair steal a kow
And thou steal a kow carle thair thay will hang the
Quattrick lord of that for anis mon I die
God than he lewch and owre the dyke lap
And owt of his scheith his gowly owtgatt
Sanct Peter socht this gowly fast up an doun
Yit could not find it in all the braid rown
Now qwod God heir a marvell how can this be
That I suld want my gowly an we heir but thre
Humff qwod the helandman an turnd him abowt
An at his plaid neuk the gowly fell owt
Fy qwod Sanct Peter thow will nevir do weill
And thow but new maid sa sone gais to steill
Umff qwod the helandman an swere be yon kirk
Sa lang as I may geir gett to steill will I nevir wirk

- Anon., from the Bannatyne MS (c. 1568)

Lauch Whan Ye Can

"Lauch when ye can"
Said the puddock to the taed:
"For the fairest days are flichty
And we're a lang time daed."

"Hey" sech'd the taed,
Wi a wiggle o his pow:
"I've juist buried my guid-brither
And I'm gey wae the now."

"Come awa man,
Fash nae mair for what has been:
Let's mak merry wi the livin
Sae lang's our luck is in."

Juist as he spak
He was trod on by a coo.
"May the Lord forgie me, puddock,
I'm lauchin herty noo."

- William Soutar

I'm actually working on the first poem as part of my C essay. So if anyone's got any insights, do share!