The Pseudopod

Here's a little excerpt from my email to my college supervisor. I reckon it'll be a good way for you to be caught up with how I'm feeling at the mo'.

...You are right in pointing out that I may be suffering premature despair, though I tend to think of it as commitment phobia. I guess looking back now, my four years of undergraduate studies was like falling in love with the Middle Ages. Everything went well and I was fascinated and intrigued and really wanted to find out more - time spent with my studies felt like they went by really fast, and everything was rewarding. In comparison graduate studies is like moving in with the person. All of a sudden we are spending ALL our time together - and this person is expecting devotion and commitment on a level which I had thought was what I wanted - but turns out to be a bit scary. Things start to get kind of guilt-trippy too - I imagine my 'partner' saying things like 'So, where were you today? 'Cos I was waiting for you at the library...' (baleful silence ensues). When I think of quitting this degree, this person says 'But don't you love me any more?' and of course I say 'No no no, I still find you really interesting and everything....' (but not with quite enough conviction).

Then 'All Along the Watch Tower' comes on.

Do we all know 'All Along the Watch Tower'? It beings 'There must be some kind of way out of here, said the Joker to the Fiend. There's to much confusion...etc.'

This, then, is where I'm at. But let's face it, things aren't all that bad. It could all be worse. I could have PAID to do this - but I didn't. Let's just sit back, and contemplate the silver lining, eh? (literally the silver lining in my case - or rather, lined with pounds sterling).