Wednesday, 17 September 2014

my people

... lying on the sofa with you two, chatting and listening to Different Class. I never thought that it would get better, but it has. The difference between then and now couldn't have been greater.

I forgot my rucksack. Waiting for you two at the station I was anxious that you'd be mad. But you weren't, of course. Like Julian, you smile and laugh at me for being a numpty. I saw you sauntering down the street in your matching hoodies and was overwhelmed by a sense of love and pride. My wonderful friends.

On the way to the airport I listened to you describe someone as "broken." Then I wondered if you'd say the same of me behind my back. Then I realized that you wouldn't, because I am not. It's not the face I present to the world because it is not the greater part of who I am. I am strong.

It's a strange sensation, thinking positive thoughts. But I like it when they come to me unbidden and true.