Wednesday, 24 November 2010


I think that our perceptions of gender are very socially conditioned.

Tonight at dinner the waitress told me that she thought I was a boy. I wanted to say "is it because Taiwanese boys are so effeminate?" Either that or take a leaf out of my family friend's book and say "瞎了你的狗眼". But I just smiled and walked away. My mother said "This goes to show that a girl should be pretty." I replied "Taiwanese people basically judge your sex by hair length" - because when I had long hair, this was never an issue. My mom still didn't think this was a case of gender stereotyping. My conclusion: "fuck that."

Too radical? Perhaps. But I'm fed up. If you look beyond very superficial attributes (make-up or not, hair length, style of clothing and footwear), it's pretty easy to tell that I am not a boy (no Adam's apple, no facial hair, voice is not deep enough).

Though the way I dress is often considered androgynous even in the West, I still hate the idea that girls should look a certain way, i.e. pretty. Says who? Fuck that.

I am a girl. I've never had trouble finding myself a man. I can be pretty, and I can be ugly. I can be gentle, or I can be strong. I can be demure, or I can be out-going. Because I am a multi-faceted human-being, not a fashion spread mirage. So please don't tell me how I ought to go about being a girl.

I'm not angered by one person's mistake. Rather, I am voicing a complaint on behalf of all those who do not naturally conform to the 'ideal' as formulated by society and media. This is also why I refrained from rudeness to the waitress; after all we are all products of our environment. Yet I also believe that we are not condemned to only be shaped by society without the right to mold it in return. This is why I find it important to speak my mind on such issues.


昨天一個人在長庚附近一個人隨便吃飯。餐廳小姐說『我以為你是男生!』。我衝動的想回她『是不是因為台灣的男生都太娘了?』,甚至『瞎了你的狗眼』。但是我沒有,只有笑笑的走出去。我媽說『啊, 這告訴我們, 一個好好的女生, 要弄成漂亮的女生樣』。我說『基本上台灣人只認長髮與短髮而已』因為我從前頭髮長的時候從來沒有這個問題。她仍然覺得這不是性別刻板印象 (gender stereotype) 的問題。我的結論:『fuck that』。


雖然我的打扮就算在國外也可以算是中性,但是我痛恨有人覺得『女生』就是應該把自己弄成某個樣子,就是應該『漂亮』。誰說女生就是要漂亮?FUCK THAT.

我是女生。我從來沒有找不到男人的問題。我可以要漂亮,也可以要醜,可以要溫柔,也可以要強壯,可以要涵蓄,也可以要自信 - 因為我是個有層次的活人,不是時尚雜誌裡的假象。所以請妳別來告訴我怎麼當女生。