oldie but goodie

I've been struggling with myself with varying degrees of success for a week now.

Alternatively I could say that I've been struggling with myself with varying degrees of failure.
Either way I confess myself to be flummoxed and resigned.
So I'm slobbing around the house eating too much pasta.

Then I came across this joke on my old blog:

patient: i've got a strawberry stuck up my arse.
doctor: i've got some cream for that.

Strangely comforting, and worth repeating, I think.

When I first started a blog about four years ago I was in the habit of writing frequently and almost entirely to myself. In the process I realized that people actually sometimes read my blog, and to be honest it surprises me to this day. I would like to say that I keep this up as a personal reminder for the future but in reality now when I write I am (much more than before) aware of a hidden readership. The fact that keeping blogs and reading blogs have taken off massively in these four years have also contributed to my heightened sense of awareness. I now practice self-censorship much more than before.

Plus in the last ten months or so the main event in my life has been something that I'm not quite ready to talk about, and once I get out of the habit of speaking my mind, it becomes hard to pick up again.

So for now we'll stick to jokes re: strawberries up behinds.