This morning was all foggy and wet. Julian said it's trying to accustom us to the weather in the UK for our trip in a few days. What a cheering thought. I spent the morning ticking off my to-do list. The recycling, the post office, the groceries, calling my gran - all the while keeping half an eye on my phone to see if you'd woken up, if you'd message, if you'd ring.
This is the part that always annoys me. The feeling of being tethered to something apart from myself. The space in my mind that's occupied by what you might be doing or thinking or feeling, when I know perfectly well that the best thing to do is to lay it aside and things will take care of themselves. Still, I can't help wanting to pull at the threads, looking for a sense of presence to fill this gap.
Strangely our conversation didn't do it. Sometimes it's two puzzle pieces that don't quite come together, despite their mutual willingness, and I'm still at sea. In the absence of a better plan, I thought I'd just come up and quickly note it down (as a form of exorcism).
And now, there's still ever so many things on the to-do list to get through, hopefully with my mind on the job at hand.
