The things I don't know...

...could fill a truck.

For four years when I was at Edinburgh I saw a lot of the same faces at lectures. Some of them I knew well, some only through shared seminars. Some I know are on my course - but I have never spoken to. One of them was a girl who never took notes in lectures (for someone like me, who brings a laptop and records things like a court typist, this is very radical), and sometimes knits. I only knew that she is a friend of a friend of mine - and I heard that she's a good knitter and sells patterns on-line.

I recently took up knitting again after... oh, a 3 year hiatus. I'm learning how to do some simple socks at the moment, and I have to say, making things gives me a great deal of satisfaction (more than translating, if you can believe that ((this is meant to be sarcastic))). Yesterday I randomly remembered this girl from Uni, and I thought I'd see if I could find her web page. It took me a while because I wasn't sure what her name is - but eventually I found it at: Ysolda Store .

I have to say I was very very impressed! Her blog/store is beautifully designed - but more importantly, so are her knits! I was a bit awed and really regretted not making friends with her when I was in Uni - but the truth of the matter is, I'm the type of person who can seldom be arsed to go out of my way to get to know someone! Still, I left a message on her blog and recommended several places for her to visit in Toronto (since she appears to be there right now).
On my way home from work I tried to think of reasons why I am as cool, if not more cool, than she is. Then I realized how stupid it is to compare myself to people that I don't even really know. I have the strange tendency of (mostly unconsciously) needing to feel that I am better than people around me. (Actually, scratch "around me" - because this obviously applies to people I only have the vaguest acquaintance of, who live on different continents???) But then I thought: there's people half my age who have won Olympic gold medals - thus I'd never win. But - what's the deal? why do I have to compare myself to people all the time when mostly it's completely pointless?

Sometimes I think it's because I grew up in Taiwan, where competitiveness is more or less a way of life. Sometimes I think it's because I lack self-confidence (but normally I think I'm a fairly confident individual). Anyway, I was unable to reach a conclusion.

Speaking of this strange syndrome of mine - I remember the first time I ever sat down and had a conversation with Toph's ex-girlfriend. Somehow the conversation got onto the topic of the Ottoman Empire. Toph and Cate both insisted that the Ottoman Empire originated in Algeria, whereas I had always thought that it originated in Turkey and spread west. Afterwards I went home and told Amittai (my erstwhile flatmate) and his friend - and they both told me that I was wrong. I looked it up on-line and discovered that I was wrong. Now get this: I then sat down at my own kitchen table and burst into tears.

Ok. Granted things with Toph were a bit tense then - and we actually split up a short time later over ex-issues - so I was obviously under a considerable amount of strain and very sensitive to Cate. Still, the mechanism behind the whole incident is the same.

So - if you're reading this, fancy a go at psychotherapy? I'm open to suggestions as to why I'm like this.

In any case. Years later, I was hanging out with my pal Anders, who is working on his PhD on the Ottoman Empire. We were standing in the kitchen cooking when I told him the story about Toph, Cate, Myself & the Origins of the Ottoman Empire - then he said "But the Ottoman Empire DID originate in Turkey." I said "no, no, I looked it up." Then he said "look, are you a historian on the history of the Ottoman Empire, or am I?" When I realized the wisdom in his argument I ran at him to give him a hug and slipped on his (very slippery) kitchen floor. Even though I absolutely trust his academic scholarship I still made him look it up and show me. Anyway at the end of it, I was bruised - but happy.

Still the question remains: why the hell should it matter if I happen to know that the Ottoman Empire originated in Turkey, and some other people don't? It's pretty fucked, isn't it?

But coming back to the topic with which I started this post: the important thing is - if you knit, or just like beautiful things, check out Ysolda's site!